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You Know You Are A Satanist If....
This is a humorous look at Satanism. It explores the various stereotypes and realities about being a Satanist. Please enjoy this but take it with a grain of salt...[or perhaps a whole box of salt, if necessary]!
This list is original, complied by Venus Satanas..and it is based on her journey throughout Satanism since 1992 and the many friends in Satanism that she has known along the way. Please do not reproduce without permission. You are free to link to this opage if you desire, however.. or come to my IRC chatroom to contact me [it takes 5 minutes] if you'd like to print this somewhere else on the net. Thank you for reading this and remember to smile :)
1. You know you are a Satanist if...You only wear black or very dark red
2. You know you are a Satanist if...You turn every star you see upside down
3. You know you are a Satanist if...You turn every cross you see upside down
4. You know you are a Satanist if...You are not scared of the dark.
5. You know you are a Satanist if...You cringe while hearing family mention Christian things, and praying before dinner makes you chuckle
6. You know you are a Satanist if...You hide in you room, sit in the dark, and listen only to Black Metal
7. You know you are a Satanist if...You do rituals in your room and almost catch the curtains on fire
8. You know you are a Satanist if...You wore your pentagram necklace for your High School photo.
9. You know you are a Satanist if...In your ritual room, your own personal Satanic altar has your picture as the centerpiece
10. You know you are a Satanist if...You brag to your friends that you are a friend of the devil
11. You know you are a Satanist if...You take on a satanic name, like Warlock Magus Demonia Nox Satania Verum
12. You know you are a Satanist if...You keep a picture of Anton LaVey in a black frame
13. You know you are a Satanist if...Your 'lucky number' is 13.
14. You know you are a Satanist if...You hold a vigil [with a black candle, of course] on April 11th each year, for LaVey's Birthday
15. You know you are a Satanist if...You own all of LaVey's books, or books written about LaVey
16. You know you are a Satanist if...You quote from the Satanic Bible in forums
17. You know you are a Satanist if...You only go to Satanic forums
18. You know you are a Satanist if...All your friends at facebook have demonic names
19. You know you are a Satanist if...Your forum icon or avatar is a pentagram or demonic image.
20. You know you are a Satanist if...You have an intimate relationship with Satan
21. You know you are a Satanist if...The worship of Satan is only proper on Saturdays.
22. You know you are a Satanist if...You worship yourself
23. You know you are a Satanist if...You love black cats, and you consider them to be 'lucky'.
24. You know you are a Satanist if...You own all of King Diamond's and Slayer's albums
25. You know you are a Satanist if...You greet everyone you see with the sign of the horns
26. You know you are a Satanist if...You are writing your own Satanic Bible, and are planning on it being 666 pages.
27. You know you are a Satanist if...You know that Revalation 13:18 in the Bible is the number of the Beast!
28. You know you are a Satanist if...You have destroyed a Bible as your first act of transgression.
29. You know you are a Satanist if...You have been to the edge of darkness and back and wear it as a badge of honor
30. You know you are a Satanist if...You prefer the left side of things
31. You know you are a Satanist if...You say 'Ave' when you enter a chatroom!
32. You know you are a Satanist if...You have finally come out to family and friends that you are a Satanist.
33. You know you are a Satanist if...You have a pact with the devil, for your own personal profit or pleasure.
34. You know you are a Satanist if...Demons are your friends.
35. You know you are a Satanist if...Proudly, you unbaptized yourself ceremoniously in a Black Mass Ritual
36. You know you are a Satanist if...You know the Satanic Invocation from the Satanic Bible by heart..."In nomine Dei Nostri..Satanas.."
37. You know you are a Satanist if...You Speak "SataniLatin" [a combination of Satanic words with Latin]
38. You know you are a Satanist if...You are a Church of One
39. You know you are a Satanist if...You celebrate Walpurgisnacht.
40. You know you are a Satanist if...You own the "Red Card".
41. You know you are a Satanist if...You have been kicked out of the Church of Satan and are proud of it!
42. You know you are a Satanist if...Crowley is a personal idol of yours.
43. You know you are a Satanist if...Your car's license plate has the numbers 666 in it.
44. You know you are a Satanist if...You wore your pentagram necklace for your drivers license photo.
45. You know you are a Satanist if...You think Halloween should be a federal holiday.
46. You know you are a Satanist if...If you call Satan "Master" or "Father".
47. You know you are a Satanist if...You open a Church for Satanism.
48. You know you are a Satanist if...You want a Satanic themed wedding.
49. You know you are a Satanist if...You run your own Satanic Website!
AND FINALLY....
50. You know you are a Satanist if...You are visiting this website.